there she goes my baby walks so slow sexual tic-tac-toe yeah, I know we both know it isn't time but would you be m-mine

BLOG! I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVEN'T TOLD YOU ABOUT BEING HARASSED BY COPS!!!! So, a few weeks ago I was at southlands with Devon. His girlfriend, his mom (Chris), Stephan, his girlfriend and I went on an adventure...well it was a walk but we went in dark tunnels and scared people :P At one point, Stephan and Devon's girlfriends broke off from the group and went to Devon's house. Chris, Devon, Stephan and I walked to southlands. When we got there we went to walmart. We couldn't all go in because we also took Chris' dog, Puck. So Chris went in. We called the girls and told them to bring Devon's car and pick us up. They got there and by this time Chris was outside. She had to go in again to buy more things so we went to park the car. A few minutes later, a cop walks up. Devon and I were in the bed of the truck sitting on the guard rail and he starts shining this flashligh in our face. He passes up and bangs on the passenger side door, then rips it open. He starts blabbing about how someone said we were riding on the hood of the car, but what dumb ass rides on the hood of a car? So he goes on for a while then leaves. Chris comes back and we tell her. She gets pissed because she said he cant harass us on a complaint because he didn't see us with his own eyes. The cop comes back and starts yelling "I SAID GO HOMEEEE!" so Chris walks up and asked what went down. He acts like he is going to elbow her in the face so she walks back to the car and calls the police to file a complaint. The cop flips and tries to arrest us for whatever he could pull out his ass. Another cop rolls up. The cop that was there and this new cop do this handshake so i guess they were homies or something. This new cop is a douche too. So we finally leave and go to Devon's house. 4 Cops rool up to his house and they talk to Chris, Dana and Devon. Then they finally leave. Crazy, huh?!
OHH! And Krystal, Lisa and I got in a fender bender! Craziness.
OHHHHH! And i read Andy's blog and it made me smile a lot :)
I promise to write important stuff here, ok blog? :P

-Tommy

if one drink can make tonight slip your mind, then you should drink up so you can convince yourself that i'm cute

So I haven't blogged in a long time. So, friday was super amazing! :] It was a lot of fun. I like that I am actually trying in school now :) and I feel really smart. I like seeing those high score...keep them coming...Y/Y? haha. So I went camping this weekend. I had to go with Alex, but its ok he wasn't as annoying as I though he would be. We went on the boat and that was fun, but I didn't get to shower so when I got home, my hair was superdooperextreamly greasy! But it's all good now.

On another note...i can't believe all that shit went down! It blows my mind. And it makes me sad. :[ I feel bad for you. Sorry.

So I think I may have homework to do, but I don't know. Oh I took pictures while camping but i don't know how they will look... i hope good :] I like photography. OHHHH and my mom dropped her phone in the lake so she has a new, snazzy one :) I hope she'll like it. Well that's all.

Untill next time,

-Tommy.

this city, so pretty and the moonlit sky will be hangin' like a cigarette

I had a pretty good weekend :) I saw Inception. Twas good. And I got to see it with Gurl. I also had boba tea. The tea was delicious, but the boba tasted awful. Maybe no boba in my tea next time. ;] On and I felt smart today but im not sure why.
I am watching 9 to 5 right now. I love this movie. Oh and I watched Katy Perry's music video for Teenage Dream. It's like a porno minus boobs, vagina and penis. Twas weird.
But I have been pretty good lately :) I actually like school. But I think i am in for a LONGGGGGGGGGGGGGG school year.
Thats all for now :]

-Tommy.

do you know you're unlike any other?

So I know this picture doesn't go with the thing I am about to post, but I just really love this picture.

Today is a winding road
Thats taking me to places that I didnt want to go, whoa
Today in the blink of an eye
Im holding on to something and I do not know why I tried
I tried to read between the lines
I tried to look in your eyes
I want a simple explanation; what Im feeling inside
I gotta find a way out
Maybe theres a way out
Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know youre unlike any other?
Youll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I dont wanna ever love another
Youll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder
Today is a winding road
Tell me where to start and tell me something I dont know, whoa
Today Im on my own
I cant move a muscle and I cant pick up the phone, I dont know
And now I'm itching for the tall grass
And longing for the breeze
I need to step outside, just to see if I can breathe
I gotta find a way out
Maybe theres a way out
Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know youre unlike any other?
Youll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I dont wanna ever love another
Youll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder
Yeah Im walking on a tightrope
I'm wrapped up in vines
I think Ill make it out but you just gotta give me time
Strike me down with lightning
Let me feel you in my veins
I wanna let you know how much I feel your pain
Today is a winding road
Thats taking me to places that I didnt want to go, whoa
Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know youre unlike any other?
Youll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I dont wanna ever love another
Youll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder
Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know youre unlike any other?
Youll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
Oh baby bring on the pain
And listen to the thunder.

-Tommy.

didn't i didn't i didn't i see you cryin'? i want you to want me.

People get on my nerves sometimes. Just the littlest things set me off. Bleh I don't like that.
Anyways, I went to Warped last night. I had an amazing time. Being there made me feel great. But the sun was being an ass.

Anyways, i wanna say that it seems like I have been completely erased from your life. Funny how time works I guess.
You! Come back! I miss you. We should text more because I never get to text you.
So I text you and you reply with no words. Just squares and lines and stuff...? Maybe you should fix your phone? :p
I could write more to more people, but I am really tired.

-Tommy.

i just can't get you out of my head, your love is all i think about.

So I haven't blogged in quite sometime. So, I went to California for three weeks. For the first week we stayed at my grandpa's brother's house and my second-cousin's house. The weather was so so so hot, but they had a pool so you just jumped in there when it got too hot. And we went to San Francisco. That was pretty great. So other than the great sights like the Golden Gate Bridge, China Town, Lombard Street, and Pier 39, we rode street cars, saw a homeless guy with his ass hanging out and a crazy lady. The lady had a rolling trash can and a cardboard box. She was yelling at a "guy on the ill', but the thing is...there was noting there. She was shouting at the air. She kept saying "FUCK YOU MAN! FUCK YOU! FUCKING GUY ON THE HILL! FUCK YOU ASS HOLE!" so yeah. We were really confused. But we also saw this little itty-bitty lady collecting plastic, but she would also throw your trash away. She spoke no English so we had no idea that she was asking for out porn star drink bottles (Vitamin Water:XXX). So after that week we spent in Auborn, we headed over to San Diego. The first week we were there, Paige was on a trip and Sam was in a softball tournament, so it was just Timmy, Dani, Delaney, Erica, Jake and I. Jake and I played a lot of Wii. Erica had to work till 5 everyday so we couldn't have her take us places untill late. But that was ok. We got to go down to the bay and ride bikes and my Uncle Eddie took us out on his boat. He was a pretty crazy driver, but it was fun. I had my first California burrito(it has cheese, meat, and french fries inside it) and it was amazing! Once Paige and Sam got back, we went to the Aquarium, we went deep-sea fishing, and went to Paige's graduation party. Twas Fun. So when we got back home, my grandpa, grandma, Jeff, and Delaney got stuck in Las Vegas(Not the worst place to be stuck...you could have been stuck in Saint George. Haha) because their AC went out and it was about 110 outside. But when they got here, we went to the thrift store for Krystal's birthday gift. We got her the weirdest and ugliest things we could find. But Delaney, grandpa, grandma, and Jeff left today at 5 without saying bye. Sad right. It made me sad, at least. But its ok. So I also started a new year of school. The first day all I had was Spanish. The teacher's name is Jackson and he walks in speaking only spanish. I wanted to cry. :P But it got better after that. We payed cabeza, hombros, rodillas, pies (Head, shoulders, knees, and toes...but pies means foot so it should have been dedos but whatever.) and that was fun. Then the school day was over. The second day, I had AP language. I walk in and we have Joy as a sub. I though it was going to be a chill day, but we ended taking an assessment where we just wrote an essay. It was dumb. Then I went to U.S. History. Woody seems like a good teacher and the class seems kinda interesting, but who knows. But I have decided to myself that I am going to get really good grades this year, because a 3.5something GPA isn't gonna get me anywhere (well it wont get me where I wanna go) so yeah, I am just gonna have to pay attention and study and such. After U.S. History, I had Professional Photography. The teacher basically talked the whole two hours. I wanna be learning but I guess he has to do the orientation. So I will just have to wait. Just thought I should update you, blog. :) Well that's all.

-Tommy.

i've got the magic in me, every time i touch that track it turns into gold

So a lot has been going on lately. My grandparents are in town and so is my cousin. We don't quite know when we're going to go to San Diego, but I think we're leaving soon. I want to come back before the 27th though. Bleh, this could turn out to be a mess. I don't know.

-Tommy.

i put a monster in your bed, turned out the lights, tucked him in and said good night

So Delaney comes in tomorrow :) I'm excited.
I wanna be able to get a hold of you but nothing is working. I'm gonna try your mom.
I really wanna go to that concert I have had to clean a lot and I don't like it!
I miss you two. It was good to see you both.
You confused me last night.
Nothing else.

-Tommy.

Overthrow the status quo, never listen to the lingo.

That thirty day thing seems cool. I just couldn't find a good one and I prolly wouldn't have time for one.
On another note, how come when you text me, I will text you back, you wont text back for about two hours, then you complain that I don't text you...?! I do text you. I text you right back. Your phone says you are out of service. So yeah.
Oh and Im sad I cant go to that concert. :< I wanted to. And Im really excited for forth of July! I love the forth :) Yeah not much else to report. :]

-Tommy.

if you see kay will you tell her that i love her, if you see kay let her know i want her back if she listens say that im missing everything about her

So, that really hurts. When you assume things like that, it makes me sad inside, but i'm not sure if that bothers you. Oh and just so you know, i still care about you too. But I guess you don't believe anything i say anymore. I would write more, but my heads in a jumble. Sorry =/ I wish we could just go back to when we talked like happy, random children.

When you told me that, it made me think. Like a lot. But anyways, I feel so bad for you. You have to be so mature and you shouldn't have to be. Sometimes i think what your mom will be like without you. It seems like you have to support and be the parent in your guy's relationship. It really isn't right. Your whole situation makes me sad, legitly.

Dude! It was so good to see you! I have missed you so much! I mean I have seen you twice since eighth grade! I wish your self-esteem wasn't so low. It makes me sad, because you are amazing and caring and just plain awesome. Don't change. (Oh, and I wish I knew which person I was on your list of letters to people on your blow, if i am on there)

Thanks for letting me borrow those CD's. :) you make me happy. Oh and sorry for saying your hair looked crazy, I actually liked it. Come to school with your hair like that. Anyways, I miss you a lot. We should hang out more. I mean if you want to...Well don't read my blog, but whatever. :P And i'm happy you're with a guy that makes you happy.

Shit, guy! How could I forget you?! Haha well you don't read this but I will blog about you anyways. I love when we hang out. We may do dumb shit, but it's ok. We should hang out soon. You got back from your wrestling thing and you said your summer has sucked so lets hang out and do dumb shit. Maybe that would make your summer better. Well we did watch BRÜNO which was something. That movie was so sick. We both about cried... xD

Shit, I'm really off today! You! I wanna see you this summer! I saw you once for like two seconds and you were sick! :/ And I really wanna try to make you happy, I'm not sure how right now, but I will try with tweets and such. :) You make me happy and we should hang out! And we can talk about Lady GaGa and make funny little signs but we must remember to write them backwards so the camera can read it! M-M-M-Monster! :]

-Tommy.

let's get drunk and ride around and make peace with an empty town

I wish you wouldn't:
copy me
tell me shit like that
use me to make yourself feel better
try to make me feel bad
question me
ignore me
patronize me
bother me
yell at me

but whatever, you wont stop.
(This is about more than one person)

-Tommy.

days go by and still i think of you days when i couldn't live my life without you

i started reading my book. i feel accomplished.
today was pretty average.
oh and i really wanna write a blog that just lists the titles of the songs i used for my blog titles...if that makes since... yup yup

-Tommy.

sex and white lies, handcuffs and alibis, she lays her halo on the pillow where she sleeps

So lemme tell you...this week was amazing! I was so happy to see all my family. I couldn't stop smiling. i only felt a little sad inside because my phone doesn't work out there. but other than that, it was amazing. I had a really good time. :) we swam a lot and i got over feeling weird at pools. And all the white people made me laugh. there were zero black, mexican, indian, etc people! there was only one asian family, the rest was white! it was crazy. like a KKK town or something. just kidding. Oh oh! and that 867-5309 song by tommy tutone came on and it reminded me of marcus and his wooden nickel. hes a weirdy. :P and i got to drive lots. :) twas a jolly good time. :)

-Tommy.

what if i said that the water was over my head would you stand there watching me? what if i said all of the blood I had shed was collecting by my feet

Danie reminded me how much i love this band. (The one that wrote those lyrics in the title.) So, i am in missouri. I have very limited phone service. Tis sad. But other than that, i am having fun.

So, i want the new iPhone, if only they would say which networks they were gonna give the iPhone to.

Not much more to say.

-Tommy.

bury me in all my favorite colors, my sisters and my brothers, still, i will not kiss you, cuz the hardest part of this is leaving you.

Bleh. People just need to stop yelling at me! Im upset/sad/mad/hopeful so S my D(Lanna GaGa told me to say that [: ) Oh and we found your shit. Stop lying please. And just quit that shit!

I really would rather be at the BBQ but idk if that will happen :(

Ugh and you...that did't help my day at all. But its whatever. I can't even say anything to you anymore because whatever I say makes you...whatever.

But Alanna and Alisha and Andy made me smile. I'll just focus on that for now.

-Tommy.

when sky blue gets dark enough to see the colors of the city lights a trail of ruby red and diamond white hits her like a sunrise

I am sorry to the people I keep disappointing. i don't mean to fuck shit up, it just happens. :< Well i've got these pains in my head and stomach. I keep getting in trouble. I keep disappointing people. I am already over this break. School time...now. Please.

-Tommy.

go get your shovel and we'll dig a deep hole to bury the castle.

D: I hate feeling like this. I feel unmotivated to do anything. I feel like people don't tell me how they feel. I feel like shit basically.
I read some stuff and it just made me sad. And now i just wanna sleep. And I need to read. Ugh this is a break! Don't make me read! Ugh. Oh and to that megan person that texted me: you are probably the second most stupid cunt ever. :) And I don't even know you. Know your place, bitch. Ugh I don't need this right now.
Well, that's all for now.

-Tommy.

the world is spinning way too fast the entire human race will float into space so fill your shoes with cement and kiss the ones you love

I had a really good day. no more school. But i still have to read...I am really gonna have to step it up next year.


It made me so sad reading your blog. I wish i knew more about you. I wish I knew why you were sad.

Well that's all for now.

-Tommy.

i don't mind spending everyday, out on your corner in the pouring rain look for the girl with the broken smile ask her if she wants to stay awhile

Bleh i feel like I am going to throw up. And I fell like a little emo kid because all I am doing it looking out my window and watching the lightning and listening to the thunder. Bleh and I keep forgetting that i have to answer texts and I keep forgetting that I need to sleep. I just like lightning and thunder i guess. I also get random urges to turn every light on in the house. Maybe i just need to sleep.

-Tommy.

im ready to go i think you already know we can save this los angeles im holding my ground before the streets take me down i can shake this los angeles

Friday was pretty great.
This weekend has been alright, but my parents have been betchesss! haha, yeah.
I kinda lost the interest in a lip piercing, but idk if i do or don't want one.

-Tommy.

i got watch but I dont have time i got a road that leads to decadence but a dead end sign waits down the line i leave my footprints for the evidence.

Today just went down hill until it hit rock bottom. Bleh. Not looking forward to summer... :<

-Tommy.

;]

alisha says:

iwuvyou<3

no more poison killing my emotion i will not be frozen dancing is my remedy, stop preying cuz i'm not not playing i'm not frozen dancing is my remedy.

My stomach hurts so bad!
Last night was... interesting.
I had a pretty good day today.
I hope this sunburn turns to a tan.
I am fucking stressed out about finals.
Umm...mmhmm that's about it.

-Tommy.

when you see yourself in a crowded room, do your fingers itch, are you pistol-whipped?

Bleh. I haven't been feeling good lately. I hate how guilty people make me feel. it really sucks. and everything isn;t my fault. I just wanna be like fuck this. But I will never do that. But, seriously...i cant do this. it makes me feel bleh.

School is almost out. I cant wait. school has been getting on my nerves. well people have been to but yeah. and I don't like when people ask whats wrong only when they read my blog.It makes me feel bad too. but whatever. Why do i randomlllllly use caps? hmm i'm weird.

here are some random lyrics (just because this is my blog and I can do what I want):

;baby, you were the first, or the last of the worst;

;Where everything was everything, but everything is over. Everything could be everything, if only we were older. Guess its just a silly song about you and how I lost you, and your brown eyes;

;Lights and music, are on my mind be my baby one more time;

;And I can't make it on my own, because my heart is in Ohio. So cut my wrists and black my eyes so I can fall asleep tonight, or die;

;Please don't cry one tear for me. I'm not afraid of what I have to say;

yeah, that's it.

-Tommy.

like a harbor starves for a ship i await the arrival of her lips, she’s starboard side, she’s well equipped. i’m in the ocean, causin’ commotion

Friday was AHHHHHHHHHHHHH-MAZING!
Saturday was ok. I am glad I got to hang out with Krystal because I miss her. And those messages were awesome too :)
Sunday was pretty ok. Just now was really fun. My siblings rock sometimes :) The albino adventures :D that will be a new hit reality show staring Marqueff, Momma, Daddy, and Momma's frennn. :) It will blow Jersey shores out of the water. :D

-Tommy.

woah, livin' on a prayer

All better. :)

-Tommy.

look above, the skies open up, the waves begin to groan. they say, "it’s nothing personal, it’s what's been decided for you. it is what has to be."

i have the awful knot in my stomach. I feel like everything is coming undone. Bleh. I don't wanna feel like this. I would give anything to just be Ok. But i haven't been ok for a while now. =/ Ugh i feel like im drowning again. >:

-Tommy.

take time to realize, oh-oh, i'm on your side, didn't i tell you?

I really think if I read this when I get older...I think I would be ashamed of who I was. =[ that makes me sad.

OHHH! And note to future Tommy, the song lyrics i put in the title have something to do with how i am feeling in some way or another.

-Tommy.

but when i think i'll be alright i am always wrong, cuz my hands don't wanna start again. my hands, no they don't wanna understand

I wish people weren't so hypocritical. But that's something I can't change. Bleh I thought I was gonna be ok.

I wake in the morning, tired of sleeping
Get in the shower, and make my bed alone
I put on my makeup, talk into the mirror
Ready for a new day, without you

And I walk steady on my feet
I talk, my voice obeys me
I go out at night, sleep without the lights
And I do all of the things I have to
Keepin' you off my mind
But when I think I'll be alright
I am always wrong, cause

My hands don't wanna start again
My hands, no they don't wanna understand
My hands, they just shake and try to break whatever peace I may find
My hands, they only agree to hold your hands
And they don't wanna be without your hands
And they will not let me go
No they will not let me go

I talk about you now
And do it without crying
I go out with my friends now
I stay home all alone
And I don't see you everywhere
And I can say your name easily
I laugh abit louder, without you

And I see different shades now
I'm almost -never- afraid now
But when I think I'll be okay
I am always wrong, cause...

My hands don't wanna start again
My hands, no they don't wanna understand
My hands, they just shake and try to break whatever peace I may find
My hands, they only agree to hold your hands
No they don't wanna be without your hands
And they will not let me go
No they will not let me go

Sometimes I'll wake
I see them reaching out for you
Quietly break whatever shields I spent so long building up
I cannot fake, 'cause when they cry I'm unspoken
They miss holding my baby...

My hands (my hands)
No they don't wanna understand
They just shake and try to break whatever peace I may find

My hands, your hands, they don't wanna be without your hands
No they will not let me go
No they will not let me go
My hands, don't wanna start again
My hands, no they don't wanna understand
My hands, they just shake and try to break whatever peace I may find
My hands, they only agree to hold your hands
No they don't be without your hands
And they will not let me go
No they will not let me go

No, no, no they will not let me go
Mmm...

can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars i could really use a wish right now

I am glad we kinda got past that. I still feel bad. But the title song kinda explains how i was feeling. But i am past that. I am really mad that i gave into myself. That wont happen again.

I really hate to hear you say that. :( It crushes me.

But, honestly, I am actually good. I can smile. You made everything better.

I have realized that we need to talk more...we NEVER talk or text. I like talking to you.

Dude, where are you? i miss you so much.

I miss you too! I see you all the time, but we aren't that close anymore. Lets fix that!

I have nothing else to say. OHHH! and my mom's car broke down and she got a rental and i /LOVE/ it so much! I want it! :D

-Tommy.

i kept my mouth shut from the start, i guess i left you in the dark.

Man, i fucked up big time. All I can say is sorry. Fuck. Im so so sorry :( ilysmiwdfy.

-Tommy.

nothing to lose but everything to gain

Tommy = Done. Done with everything. :D

-Tommy.

turn up the music let's get out on the floor i like to move it come and give me some more

Bleh. This has been a trend lately. Haha whatever. No one gets to know what the trend is though, because then it will give away who i am talking about. And I don't like to make people feel bad. So yeah.

-Tommy.

a little less thinkin' and a lot more drinkin' that'll work for me tonight; when the room starts spinnin' and we start sinnin' i begin to realize.

Bleh. I wish you would just trust me and my judgments. I may not be a saint but it's not like you can't trust me. Ugh my fucking day has gone to hell. I wanna crawl in a hole.
Bleh this is not how i wanted to end this week. Whatever. There is no going back.
When I napped, I had a dream where i had a clone and my clone took over my life. He was a better Tommy and he made everyone happy. And then the real Tommy got sad and moved away. I think I ended up getting killed or something...all i know is that I died and no one cared because they had new, clone Tommy. It was sad. But it was just a dream and now that I told you, it won't come true :)

-Tommy.

just don't give up, i'm working it out. please don't give in, i won't let you down.

I have had a pretty good past few days...but today kinda sucked. My stomach has been killing me for quite some time and I got this super random cough. I hate it.
Anyway, it rained today. I love rain.
Now that I think about it...i think I am making this blog for future Tommy...Weird. Maybe in the future I will go by Thomas...or Tom. Or Bob. Maybe i'll be bald. Maybe I wont even go back and read this. Who knows. Wow what a weird thing to blog about.

-Tommy.

i'm still alive but i'm barely breathing

For the past few days I have felt pretty emotionless. I am not sure if that is good or bad...

-Tommy.

i love you 1, 2, 3 shooo-be-doo

Quite trying to make this my fucking fault! Ugh just stop. THIS IS NOT MY FAULT.

anyways. I have been so fucking annoyed. You just need to quite. A lot of people have been through worse and it just made them stronger. I have said what I need to say. Kay.

-Tommy.

that's what you get when you let your heart win

Ugh. Please stop doing this to me! Please! :'(

-Tommy.

they might say hi and i might say hey, but you shouldn't worry about what they say

Ugh! Quite doing this to me! Ugh I HATE it! dshfiorhwighkrfhaf. Whatever.

-Tommy.

do you know what's worth fighting for when it's not worth dying for?

My brain is kinda in a frenzy and I won't say what I need to because I don't like having long blogs. Anyway...I kinda really hate this. That's all I can say...If I say anymore, I will go off and hurt people. So yeah...

-Tommy.

i'm gonna break down these walls i built around myself i wanna fall so in love with you and no one else

So, today started bad. Got better. Tis pretty great right now. :)

-Tommy.

maybe you'll follow maybe you'll stay i'm praying you won't give yourself away you know that you are the only one i promise the stars

You know, I have realized that i REALLYREALLYREALLY want a Nikon D3000 and an acoustic guitar that doesn't suck. Lol very material of me, but I reallllllllly want those two things. Haha but it wont happen.

My stomach is /killing/ me. It hurts soooooo bad! Bleh i'll be fine thought.

-Tommy.

fashion put it all on me don't you want to see these clothes on me fashion put it all on me i am anyone you want me to be

I am almost positive i suffer from OCD and major mood swings. Oh, and I also figured out that I am way out of shape. Beside that, my day stared at shit and it got better and better as the day went on. Still mad, which is immature, but its all good. Umm yeah. That's all.

-Tommy.

and i don't want the world to see me because i don't think that they'd understand

I'm so sorry I do this to you. You really put things in perspective. Man. Ugh I just wish I could be better at everything. I wish I could somehow just make EVERYTHING better. It makes me sad when I stop and think about how I make you feel. It seems I only make you sad. I make you feel like you have to hide how you feel... That's no bueno. I'm sorry. I mean it. I don't know what else to say...i'm sorry.

-Tommy.

lights and music are on my mind, be my baby one more time

I've realized how much I hide behind the word sorry. It's not that I don't wanna talk about stuff. I just hate conflict. if I apologize and hold things back, it will all be ok, for a while at least. I guess i'm ok with that. I am really ready for spring break to be over.

-Tommy.

i've given up, i'm giving up slowly i'm blending in so you won't even know me

Man cleaning is a beotch! I hate it. But what are you gonna do, you know? Wow i need to stop having these crazy mood swings, wouldn't ya say? I got bleach on my leg and it ate my skin :< It was pretty sad. I hate bleach. It smells so bad!
That's all for now :)

-Tommy.

baby, baby blue eyes stay with me by my side until the morning through the night

Ugh. Fuck today. Why can't i do anything right?! Whatever.
;( I feel awful. But, who cares?!?! :D
I watched the blind side and the hurt locker. Twas fun..

-Tommy.

electric kiss i'm gonna change the world with my lips one voice forever we'll live together peace, love, solitude and happiness electric kiss

Today was pretty cool. Made some alright food. I watched Julie and Julia and I felt less lame about blogging. :P
I really like hanging out with you
I wanted to see your dance and play
I don't want you to move
I don't want you to do this

-Tommy.

i feel so untouched and i want you so much that i just can't resist you, it's not enough to say that i miss you...somehow i can't forget you...

Wow. :( It really sucks when your best friend says he thinks he will never get to see me ever again. :(
That makes me so sad. :(

-Tommy.

i've got the gift of one-liners and you've got the curse of curves.

Haha so to people that didn't understand that last blog post, that was written by Alisha, not me. I didn't fall in love with some kid named Tommy. :P Now that that is cleared up, I really just want to say thanks. That made my day.

So I really hate that this snow wasn't rain.

I can't believe you actually may be moving :( I don't know if I will ever get to see you again. it makes me so sad.

-Tommy.

whatever happens to you, whatever happens to me, i hope that I'll fall asleep, knowing that you'll always be the story with no ending.

dear world,


a year and half ago, this incredibly amazing thing happened to me.
i was sitting in lin's math class next to my, at the time, bestfren Dakota.
in walked this adorable kid, with a shy smile and a quite voice.
i don't think i ever told him this, but i knew right then i had to know him.

me and dakota made a pact that by the end of the first quarter we HAD to be friends with him. [:

so, this really funny thing happened.
everytime i tried to talk to him i got all nervous and toung-tied
and everything i said felt stupid to me.
i got these giant butterflies in the pit of my stomach and they drove me insane.

i talked to him for hours at night.
skype was my new bestfriend.
:)

we were always together at school.
i didn't ever want him to leave my side.

but, all this was so wrong to me.
i was an awful person because i wasn't supposed to be felling like this.
i had a boyfrenn and this kid was not my boyfrenn.

i finally realized that, even though it happened at a crappy time.
this was meant to be<3

early september we started dating.
i couldn't have been happier.
he was this new and perfect thing to me.
he treated me differently then anyone else had.
he was sweet and he cared.
i mattered to him and no matter what, he understood.
or he tried to.
he didn't judge me.

but, i had a problem letting go of the only thing that had been stable in my life for almost a year.
i still feel bad about my emotional tossup.
it was hard to see myself with anyone else but that other kid.
so i broke up with tommy.

it's safe to say, even though we had been together only like 3 weeks,
half the school was devastated.
but it helped me so much.

skip ahead to October 19th.
i was sitting in my living room watching some horror movie on tv, while texting Tommy.
he was out with Devon at some haunted house.
he was telling me about some girls they were with and how one was all over him and such.
i was so mad.
needless to say i asked him back out that night.
i didn't want to ever think about him being with anyone else.

it was so easy to fall for him.
everything he did was beautiful and perfect.
everything he said to me gave me butterflies.

even now when he tells me he loves me i can't stop smiling
he has this insane power of me.


i love him.
more then i can ever describe.
when i'm with him there really is no one else.
nothing else matters.
i think i pushed him away when we first met because he terrified me.
i mentally pushed him as far away from me as possible
because i couldn't let him know that he had the power to ruin me.
he's become my life.

cliche and unoriginal as it sounds,
it's true.
i never thought i could love anyone as much as i love him.
his feelings.
his happiness.
matter more to me then anyone else's.
more then my own even.

not a day goes by when he's not on my mind.
not a night goes by when i don't think about him before i go to sleep.
and there is never a morning that goes by when he's not my first thought.

i want to feel like this forever.
i feel more in love with him then anyone else in the entire world.
he can't ever find anyone who loves him more then i do.
i'd die for him.

the best feeling in my world,
is when it's just me and him
and we're laying together,
our breathing aligned,
silent.
he's holding me tightly
and holding my hand
and i'm curled up to his side.
it's prefect<3

i know that we've had our fair share of fights.
and tears
and screams.
but i know that we can make it through anything.
because no matter what happens,
he loves me. :)
and he can't get rid of meee.


lovezzzzz.
-Alisha<3


ps.
i love you mi amor. <3
forever and ever.
you are my life.
and i'm so glad i met you.
i don't know how i could survive without you.

cuz a mind on a mission with enough ammunition and the proper position is a mind that you just set free i love the way you tug on top of me.

Man, you're family makes me sad.
Ugh people need stop thinking like this. It is going to drive us both insane.
Cooking class was fun. The coleslaw was awful though :P -not my fault- ^_^;

-Tommy.

maybe we'll turn it around because its not too late, its never too late.

is it my fucking fault this shit happens to you?! NO! So stop bitching at me!

Ugh I feel insanely confused right now.

-Tommy.

we took a train to tokyo, a train to tokyo-oh!

Don't order me around like a damn dog. Ok thanks.
All I did this weekend was clean...lame.
But I get to go to cooking class next week. :) Fun!
Al the cleaning aside, I had a good weekend.

-Tommy.

watch it burn, let it die, cuz we are finally free tonight.

I really want to keep going with this guitar playing, but the guitars at my house suck ass. It makes me sad. I really want like formal lessons. I doubt that will happen. I am excited for cooking.

Do you enjoy making me unhappy? It sure seems like you do.

I wish I could have seen you all yesterday.

-Tommy.

even though you beat me up, i still love you cuz you heat me up

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba
-im done-
:)
So I think I will stop blogging so much. Ok. Bye.

-Tommy.

today i'm on my own, i can't move a muscle and i can't pick up the phone

I know you want me to be a simple little open book. But I have spent my whole life building this wall. You can't expect me to pull it down in a day, a week, a month, or maybe even a year. You have to realize I have spent my life building this unbreakable wall. I'm trying to break it down, but it's hard.

I wish you would stop making me feel like shit. Kaythanks.

I really miss you. I can't stress that enough. Man, we have grown apart. :{ That makes me sad.

-Tommy.

don't play with me because you're playing with fire.

Hmm. So blog this is my 100th post. I have realized I don't tell you anything. You don't know me... I intend to keep it that way. Sorry. You know you help (sometimes) and so does music. Thanks.

-Tommy.

me and you setting in a honeymoon if i woke up next to you if i woke up next to you

Wow. And yet another person. Bleh I TOLD YOU I DID THIS TO PEOPLE!!! Maybe it WOULD be better if I left. Because I am obviously at fault. Ugh. I guess I can fake my smile for a little longer. :) I'm good at it. That I am. :D :) :P :] C: :j (: [: ^_^ happyhappyhappy!

-Tommy.

i've got a couple addictions but i swear that i'm coming clean

You would be proud of me, blog; I'm learning how to play guitar :)
I wish you would say your shit TO MY FACE! whatever.
I've had an amazing week!

-Tommy.

maybe we can stay and dance for a while, heaven can wait, we're going out in style

I missed you so much today.
This weekend sucked :(

-Tommy.

wont you scream my name for the first time?

Fuck today. It sucked. Ugh. I feel awful and I just wanna crawl in a corner. dohsufiegrjfh3;OEWRTJGREOUIVYjkhgfer ljkh. Whatever.

-Tommy.

how does it feel to be different from me? are we the same? how does it feel?

Ugh thanks for fucking ruining my fucking day! Ugh fuck off! Ugh I was having a great day and you fucked it up. Thanks a fucking lot! Ugh >:[ Whatever!

-Tommy.

nobody wins when everyone's losing oh, it's like one step forward and two steps back no matter what i do you're always mad

I'm sorry he's a dick to you. You are way more amazing then she is. I hate to see you upset. =[

Man I need to see you soon. It has been FOREVER. We need to talk more. Let me in.

My brain has been all over... I don't like it.

So I played ultimate Frisbee today. My team won! :) yay.


-Tommy.

you can lie awake in bed or come and sleep with me instead...i'll fill the empty pages as you write the story of your life

I got my permit

i wish you didn't tell her about your shit, it made things worse.

I'm over csap.

I feel really bad for you. I wish you would take everything i say to heart.

Thanks for listening my little blog :)

- Tommy.

if i could fall into the sky, do you think time would pass me by? cuz you know i'd walk a thousand miles if I could just see you...tonight.

Ugh. I'm just done. Whatever.

Why do you just leave? When I ask about it all I get is "oh im fine" Ugh it drives me insane. How am i supposed to fix shit when I don't know what the fuck im doing wrong. Whatever.

And you, I wish i could just snap my fingers and make everything ok. I've lost so much sleep and it's catching up. I feel like im going insane.

Oh and you, I really miss talking to you. That's all I can say.

Now on to me, I hate these fucking fake smiles. Im tired of it. But I am never the one to get help, I get the job of trying(and failing) to make other people happy.

I guess I get where everyone is coming from though.

I feel like no one really knows "me" You may think you do, but you probably don't. Sorry but it's true.

-Tommy.

i am who i am

CSAP's were easy. It was boring after them. Felt kinda blahhh all day.

-Tommy.

ain't got a care in world but got plenty of beer ain't got no money in my pocket but i'm already here

Sometimes I wanna scream 'FUCK YOU!'...anyways... here is a weekend re-cap
Went to monkey business for my moms friend's bff's birthday party
went to red rocks to watch the sun rise
went to boulder to find toe shoes
went to find an oxygen bar
went to see 'Avatar'

Yup, yup. CSAP tomorrow : /

-Tommy.

can we fast-forward to go down on me?

So today was alright. The lady gaga chalange was great on ABDC :) i've been to tired lately. That's all.

-Tommy.